Dear Obsessmuch,

Help! My bachelorette week is quickly approaching and my bridesmaids are dropping like flies. My maid of honor claims to be busy studying for the bar and she has failed to purchase the matching swimsuits, sleep masks, pajamas and t shirts for our week in Los Angeles. Then my future sister in law claims she can't commit to an entire week for the bachelorette party because of her toddler. My roommate from college hasn't booked our bachelorette facials, bottle service and wine tasting and I'm scared they will book up before this lazyass gets around to it. A celebrity tattoo artist is visiting LA that week and I want to get us all in for matching ink, but it's crickets on the bridesmaid group chat when I ask. I've been in 13 weddings and have never missed a shower or bachelorette party. What is actually going on? Do I draft new bridesmaids? Do I fire the bridesmaids who don't attend my special week? Do I just have shitty friends?

Sincerely,

Bridebabexo

Dear Bridebabexo,

Congratulations! You are in the home stretch and soon you will be a Mrs. I hope you and your fiance have enjoyed this eventful, though massively stressful time. As for your pre-wedding events, it sounds like you have very high expectations of your bridesmaids in terms of time and money. I will say an entire bachelor or bachelorette week is not very common. That requires much time off of work and away from family/life commitments before your wedding even rolls around. I guarantee you that by this point the bridesmaids have a separate group chat bitching about your demands. Since you are asking for my help here are my suggestions.

1. Get a grip on your bridesmaids' realities. If they are working, parenting or in school they likely do not have a week to spend celebrating your bachelorette. They may not have the funds to do so either. Cut your expectations for the celebration to 3 days - Friday through Sunday.

2. Look at attendance at your bachelorette as voluntary. We shouldn't require things from other grown ass adults beyond loyalty, trustworthiness and friendship. The party is not a litmus test of your friendship; rather it's an opportunity to have a great time together. The ones who really can and want to be there for you will. And that will make it fun.

3. If there is something you absolutely require and your bridesmaids haven't already purchased it, then get it yourself.

4. Prioritize your wedding over your bachelorette party. I think you want your closest friends present on your special day. Some of them will not be if you hold their feet to the fire with unrealistic demands for an Instagrammable bachelorette. Hell, they won't have any time off leftover.

5. Include your fiance. I don't mean invite him to your bachelorette. Cringe! Tell him what is going on and ask his take. He should be comfortable enough to tell you that you are being too extra about your bachelorette.

6. No matching bridesmaid tattoos. Immediately no.

7. Let's refrain from any thoughts of firing bridesmaids.

I'm not afraid to say it. You are being a bridezilla and making this not fun. It's not too late to turn this around.

Cheers,

Obsessmuch